Monday, 29 October 2007
Uh oh spaghettio
I'm not a fan of daylight savings. It's a horrible case of time meddling and the sort of action best left to omnipotent beings, aliens and sun stealing super villains. Serving only one purpose, which is to mess with people's sleep, daylight slaving savings goes down worse when applied in conjunction with taxation stress, incredibly loud thunder and early mornings alarms.
Out of bed, showered and ready to for my appointment with my accountant. I put on my special "please don't fuck me against your oak table" outfit and headed off for my dreaded date down town. As I neared the office I could see the secretaries struggling to contain themselves and their bras as they ripped the door open and quickly sealed me in, ushering me forth into the bowels of their overlord's taxation dungeon.
For a whole blisteringly painful 15 minutes I dodged numerous poisoned tipped conversations, each laced with numerical, mind-numbing inanity. My accountant's smile and no fuss, can-do attitude did the best with what I had made available and I made it out alive without being partially digested or sold into sex slavery on the Kagoshima market. Neato.
It's a good start to the week, capping off an excellent weekend spent in Dunedoo, which is a couple of hours north of my present location.
Interesting Dunedoo fact:
- The town was founded in 1953 by Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh Penguins hockey legend and noted arctic explorer.
Out of bed, showered and ready to for my appointment with my accountant. I put on my special "please don't fuck me against your oak table" outfit and headed off for my dreaded date down town. As I neared the office I could see the secretaries struggling to contain themselves and their bras as they ripped the door open and quickly sealed me in, ushering me forth into the bowels of their overlord's taxation dungeon.
For a whole blisteringly painful 15 minutes I dodged numerous poisoned tipped conversations, each laced with numerical, mind-numbing inanity. My accountant's smile and no fuss, can-do attitude did the best with what I had made available and I made it out alive without being partially digested or sold into sex slavery on the Kagoshima market. Neato.
It's a good start to the week, capping off an excellent weekend spent in Dunedoo, which is a couple of hours north of my present location.
Interesting Dunedoo fact:- The town was founded in 1953 by Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh Penguins hockey legend and noted arctic explorer.
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
Woo tax!
I finally got around to making an appointment with my accountant to lodge my tax return, two days out from the Oct 31 cut off. I am incredibly well organised. You can tell, right? I'm sure that woman loves seeing me. Once a year I rock up, hand her a stack of paper and then hide behind the desk knowing that I should have done better. Record keeping? I do that well, but with the help of my own mysterious filing system, which baffles even me. It's getting to the point where I'd almost submit to a few lashes across the back rather than to have to go through this every year.
On a similar note, my brother found his dog holding his girlfriend's incomplete tax return today, in a manner that would suggest that he is either trying to help complete it, or is perhaps only one step away from embezzling funds. I'd go with the latter. I mean, would you trust a dog who doesn't just eat flies, but catches them and pulls their wings off?
On that note, I have to go now. My cat (Bitey - yes, a Simpson's reference) is standing upright at my window, rattling the screen for attention. When I get out of my chair and peel back the curtain I know she will only turn away.
bitch..
On a similar note, my brother found his dog holding his girlfriend's incomplete tax return today, in a manner that would suggest that he is either trying to help complete it, or is perhaps only one step away from embezzling funds. I'd go with the latter. I mean, would you trust a dog who doesn't just eat flies, but catches them and pulls their wings off?
On that note, I have to go now. My cat (Bitey - yes, a Simpson's reference) is standing upright at my window, rattling the screen for attention. When I get out of my chair and peel back the curtain I know she will only turn away.
bitch..
Monday, 22 October 2007
It's been a long week.
"For those who came in late.." It's been a long week. I'll attempt to gather in the events that have transpired since my last post, but it's currently low tide in regard to my current flow. I'm very tired.
Wednesday karaoke went quite well, like it usually does. A relaxed evening with no worries. When leaving the pub however there was a fight. Of course it turned out that it was the bloke I had a run-in with about a month prior. He was threatening the pub staff and arguing with a pregnant woman. Yeah, a real champion. Looking on and also involved in some capacity were the two guys who assaulted me on my Birthday, because Captain Wonderful is dating either the mother, or aunt of one of the younger twats. It does seem that shit magnets do indeed stick together.
The pub staff managed to handle the problems, turfing Captain Wonderful out of the pub and everything returned to normal. However, as we waited for a taxi for my mate Jill, Captain Wonderful again started up with his insane behaviour. Let's keep in mind that this bloke has had somewhere in the vicinity of 5 to 9 pub fights in the last month, and been thrown out of his lodgings as a result. On Wednesday night he was just as bad, only that he also chose to conduct a verbal assault (also shoving) on a pregnant woman before collapsing to the ground without any one touching him in a manner that would suggest what little brain he still had, had been spirited away. He dropped like a sack of spuds and as I looked on from across the street, I called an ambulance, only to see him a few minutes later get back to his feet and then leap up and hurl himself into the window of a shop, then bouncing off and onto the ground without even breaking the glass. I'm not sure if I'll be going out to karaoke again on a Wednesday.
Thursday was great. Pub Trivia time, and "Death to the Sand People of Tattooine" won! Go us! It's those quieter, more socially functional times that I enjoy most.
Friday-Sunday. Even better. I'm no longer single, and I'm pretty bloody happy. I'm sure the details would go down great here, but then - that's just not me.
Sunday evening. Dinner with Jardine, Jas, Marnee and Matty. I was tired after a long but enjoyable day, but dinner was worthwhile if even just to see Matty show us how he and a mate of his have races to see who can explode first (picture someone straining to crap with their fists clenched and you'll get the idea). Following dinner it was decided a spot of karaoke would be good. Sunday karaoke is fun, as barely anyone is ever there for it, in the only pub open in town on the night, so it's a great opportunity to try new songs without lots of people around to listen to you stuff up greatly. The tester for the evening - Morrissey and First of the Gang to Die. Great song, even if Morrissey is a twat.
Wednesday karaoke went quite well, like it usually does. A relaxed evening with no worries. When leaving the pub however there was a fight. Of course it turned out that it was the bloke I had a run-in with about a month prior. He was threatening the pub staff and arguing with a pregnant woman. Yeah, a real champion. Looking on and also involved in some capacity were the two guys who assaulted me on my Birthday, because Captain Wonderful is dating either the mother, or aunt of one of the younger twats. It does seem that shit magnets do indeed stick together.
The pub staff managed to handle the problems, turfing Captain Wonderful out of the pub and everything returned to normal. However, as we waited for a taxi for my mate Jill, Captain Wonderful again started up with his insane behaviour. Let's keep in mind that this bloke has had somewhere in the vicinity of 5 to 9 pub fights in the last month, and been thrown out of his lodgings as a result. On Wednesday night he was just as bad, only that he also chose to conduct a verbal assault (also shoving) on a pregnant woman before collapsing to the ground without any one touching him in a manner that would suggest what little brain he still had, had been spirited away. He dropped like a sack of spuds and as I looked on from across the street, I called an ambulance, only to see him a few minutes later get back to his feet and then leap up and hurl himself into the window of a shop, then bouncing off and onto the ground without even breaking the glass. I'm not sure if I'll be going out to karaoke again on a Wednesday.
Thursday was great. Pub Trivia time, and "Death to the Sand People of Tattooine" won! Go us! It's those quieter, more socially functional times that I enjoy most.
Friday-Sunday. Even better. I'm no longer single, and I'm pretty bloody happy. I'm sure the details would go down great here, but then - that's just not me.
Sunday evening. Dinner with Jardine, Jas, Marnee and Matty. I was tired after a long but enjoyable day, but dinner was worthwhile if even just to see Matty show us how he and a mate of his have races to see who can explode first (picture someone straining to crap with their fists clenched and you'll get the idea). Following dinner it was decided a spot of karaoke would be good. Sunday karaoke is fun, as barely anyone is ever there for it, in the only pub open in town on the night, so it's a great opportunity to try new songs without lots of people around to listen to you stuff up greatly. The tester for the evening - Morrissey and First of the Gang to Die. Great song, even if Morrissey is a twat.
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
What...?!
I was at the top of town today, running a few errands and enjoying the sunshine. Warm with a slight breeze, it was Sunnyboy and chewy frozen kangaroo weather.
I enjoyed my walk, however I saw something quite nefarious going down when passing one of the local primary schools. I only looked for a few brief moments. I saw Rupert Murdoch walking down the steps of the school and loading boxes of school library books (that I believe he had stolen), into his 1974 Holden Torana.
I enjoyed my walk, however I saw something quite nefarious going down when passing one of the local primary schools. I only looked for a few brief moments. I saw Rupert Murdoch walking down the steps of the school and loading boxes of school library books (that I believe he had stolen), into his 1974 Holden Torana.
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
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