Time spent well

So, what do you do when you go to the pub? Every Thursday and Saturday when I go, I play trivia and I spend most of that time drawing on the question sheets during any lull in the entertainment. Most of my friends souvenir those sketches and weird doodles, but a few make their way back home with me. So, I thought I might scan a few and present them here, for your bemusement..


Don't ask me to explain any of these. I have no idea what I'm drawing at the pub, and sometimes I don't even know once I've finished. Let's just blame the Black Russians and never again speak of this.

Walkies

I'm about to head for a walk up the mountain, whilst there's still some sunshine and the air isn't like myriad layers of frozen pain against my lungs. I need the exercise. Perhaps outwardly I don't, but I can feel the ugly building up inside, ready to burst the squishy balloon that I'm slowly becoming.

Wish me luck. Send up a pair of flares and some other slacks if I fail to return!

Why am I awake?

I've been thinking bout starting a new blog. It could be written from a dog's perspective. Perhaps completely written in woofs, and with pictures of lots of bitches. Oh wait, never mind. There's already a lot of guys who write blogs like that. Women too.

Little known fact #1.
I once actually tried to build the world's worst website, and failed.

I had an idea, in about 1997, for a website so utterly bad, that it would trap people in a maze of java pop-ups, pictures of women's armpits, bright pink and lime japanese blinking text, and jpgs of jpg placeholders and so many frames that it would look like a.. framey thingy.

It never worked though. It must have set off every alarm and notice to the host server that it never lasted more than an hour each time I loaded it up.

A shame. I know the world needs more glowing neon armpit pics with built in love boat midi files.

LOL

Zod says:
I'm looking for something to blow $40 on ebay
Zod says:
any ideas?
Beck says:
dvd? cd?
Zod says:
dvd might be a good idea
Zod says:
something I can't get in regular stores maybe
Beck says:
good idea..
Beck says:
if I had $40 to blow I'd go looking for that anime dvd i cant seem to find any where
Zod says:
which one is that?
Beck says:
hang on.. just need to load my spreadsheet


Maybe it's just my sense of humour alone, but hey it cracked me up. Beck does geek good.

Super ideas!

Umbrellas with vibrator handles - Good for when it's wet both indoors and out, and handy for shaking the rain off!

Edible underwear with built in laxatives - Because you need to be taught a lesson. Eating underwear is stupid!!

Renewable marriage licenses - Most people aren't mature enough for lifetime licenses any more. If they ever were.

1-hole golf courses - because 18 holes worth of destroyed wilderness and animal habitat is ridiculous. Mark Twain was right.

Inflatable half-humpback whales - Sold only in Japan.

Australian Liberal Party Showbags - A child's introduction, complete with bile flavoured lip balm , blank history book with pen, 24k gold bobble head Jesus, and 1000 ft of red tape.



Now GO - spring forth and make these a reality!!

Yes!

Article link

Hopefully they tour.

Dictionary revisions

Welcome to the Bastard Dictionary of the Apocalypse, aka: John's guide to frigged and expired words.

Today's entry is:

Hero (From the latin "Here, ya zero" - "to award unnecessary praise and stature")

1. A person who survives - an avalanche, plane crash or other event, generally by no significant action of their own.
2. A person who performs a clutch, last moment play whilst participating in a sporting or social event - see basketball, football, knitting etc.
3. Someone who plays air guitar really well.