CostCo: The Trail of Blood

Lucy and I ventured to CostCo on Saturday. Big mistake. The store had only been open for a week and was the first for the franchise in Australia, so I expected things too be a little hectic. Well, hectic would have been a help. Instead I found matters to be out of control. After 30 minutes outside, lined up just to purchase a membership, being whipped by icy winds in the shade of the monolothic red CostCo cube, we finally made it inside. Venturing into that place without one of their giant shopping trolleys is the act of a mad man. By the time that I had filled my arms with bulk organic dark chocolate, a giant jar of sun dried tomatoes, two massive bags of Tasmanian mussels and some freshly baked bread, I knew I'd be in trouble.

Well didn't the shit hit me like I'm a fan of the stuff! I casually started towards the checkout, realising then that at the end of line I couldn't quite see the bloody start! So, arms full, I stood and waited, and waited, and felt myself becoming something not all that different to the arms on an analog clock. Yeah, you know they move, but they don't quite seem to be doing much when you're paying attention. This was just like that. At no point did I ever really feel like the line was moving, but after two friggin' hours I finally made it to the check out complete with the chuppa chup offered by the staff to placate my rage.

Two hours in a line and my mussels were losing fluid rapidly. I also felt a bit uneasy, not only about the wait and the weight of my goods, but for the fact that a steady trail of blood was in front of me and sticky beneath my shoes, having been dripped by the number of poor saps who had thought buying any sort of red meat was going to work out well.

Parking wasn't any better. The store's parking lot of course was full, so we had to park next door. That was $5 on top of the $60 membership we paid to join the obedient throngs in praise of the almighty red cube.

So will I go back? Yeah, but not in the next month, and never again on a weekend. I'll also be sure to be ready to buy a shitload of goods in bulk, making sure to bypass all of the weirdo items that seemed to be at every turn of an aisle. Who would have seriously thought that a store would need half an aisle full of nappies for grown women. Either there are a seriously high number of chicks into the whole adult baby thang in Australia, or senior citizens are in worse shape than I had generally imagined.

CostCo has a lot of potential. $5 for a massive bag of mussels leads me to this heavily researched conclusion. But DAMN - does it ever need to manage the crowds better!!

OK, it's after 4am, I've had my food, I no longer feel like I need to go for a jog after waking up at 1am, full of beans. Time to sleep.

Up for air

Finally a chance to slow down and take a breather!

The last few months have been the most hectic and life changing I've ever experienced. It's been highly enjoyable, but it is nice to have some time now to potter around the house, to work on some hobbies, do some character illustrations for a friend's book, and simply relax without having to be off to the next scheduled activity station in the playground of life.

I'm home alone. Mr. 2.5yrs old is off with his dad, Lucy is an hour away studying and I hve nothing to do except make some pumpkin bread for next week's lunches at work, do a touch of TAFE work, and stuff about, carefree and casual. Hurruh!

Before I do relax completely though, I would like to share an observation:

Melbourne trains are shit.

People in Sydney, Newcastle, Illawarra and the Mountains might complain about Cityrail, but believe me, they have got nothing on Connex for sheer incompetence. The wee before last there were as many as 100 cencellations on the Melbourne network - each day. Much of the blame was put on driver unions and the heat buckling rails, but that's a very poor cop-out. Had Connex and the VIC government bothered to give drivers comfortable conditions in the 40C+ temperatures, and allowed for gaps between rails to ensure they wouldn't buckle (seriously, they are so dumb as to weld rails together down here), there wouldn't be nearly a tenth as many issues to deal with.

I left home before 7:30am yesterday, and for a 50min trip, I didn't make it to work until 9:45am, and that was without the high temperatures and driver issues from the previous week.

Every morning and every evening I have to stand at the edge of the platform, playing door roulette, hoping I am able to guess where the train carriage will stop, so that I can get in first and HOPEFULLY get a seat. If Melbourne had doulbe decked trains there wouldn't be an issue like that anymore. Further, if Connex had trains with flip seats like Cityrail I wouldn't have to face strangers on most occasions, nor would people grumble as they attempt to share the little available leg space.

I like Melbourne a lot more than Sydney, but the latter has nothing on Melbourne's growing issues with public transport, electricity and water - all of which are issues that were supposedly in reverse not so long ago. It's a great place, but it's going to turn to shit soon if matters aren't handled appropriately right now.

Quiz thingy #4305873409587

I love these useless, time thieving dalliances..

1. How old will you turn in 2009?
32

2. Do you think you'll be married by then?
I'd like to be, but that would depend on how expensive those Russian women are, and how best to perform adequate mind control.

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?
Start of the 2008 Centenary football season.

4. Who was the last person to call you?
Angie. Well, she texted me.

5. Do you prefer call or text?
Text. I fucking hate phones. I really do.

6. Do you have any pets?
A dog and a cat. I want a shark.

7. What were you doing at 1:30 am?
Stuffing around on facebook and wading through the many invites to applications Skye had left me. I do wonder if she was taking the piss haha. I also spoke with Phill on msn.

8. What were you doing at 3:00 am?
Finally crawling into bed.

9. When is the last time you saw your mom?
Today, when cutting her birthday cake.

10. How many houses have you lived in?
Eleven.

11. How many city/towns have you lived in?
Five - Yamba, Grafton, Western Newcastle, Wagga Wagga, Lithgow

12. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
Bare feet when hot, socks when cold, shoes when outdoors.

13. Are you a social person?
Yes. Although I do like my quiet down-time.

14. What was the last thing you ate?
Birthday Cake.

15. What's your favorite color?
Cobalt Blue, and then Scarlet.

16. What are you doing for your next birthday?
Nothing. My last birthday resulted in me pressing charges against a couple of idiots for assault.

17. What is your favorite TV show?
Who Do You Think You Are. It's a genealogy program.

18. What kind of jam do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
I fuckin' hate peanut butter. But the jam would be blueberry & cranberry.

19. What are you listening to?
Everything. Ears are like that.

20. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
I sleep in the cool spot during summer, wherever that is.

21. Do you know how to play poker?
I like Texas Hold-Em' but the regular game isn't as fun.

22. What are you thinking about right now?
Women.

23. What are your plans for this weekend?
Go to Parramatta. Shopping. Borders.

24. Have you ever been in an ambulance?
Yes, when my dad had a stroke. When they said he was OK I walked home to the far side of the city.

25. Do you prefer an ocean or pool?
Ocean Pool.

26. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
No.

27. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Books.

28. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
Just my musical cock ring with its built in laser show.

29. Who is the funniest person you know?
It's a toss up between my mate's Angie and Sim. Both crack me up, but are funny in very different ways.

30. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
It goes.. "ring ring... ring ring..." I really hate the majority of intrusive ring tones.

31. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth?
Yes.

32. Do you wish someone was with you right now?
Yeah, someone female, a nice arse and a high sex drive.

33. Are you mad about anything?
I don't get mad, I quietly and without warning react to the situation as most appropriate.