Saturday, 22 September 2007

Top 5 online conversational / dating annoyances!

Ever tried online dating? It's usually fun, interesting and you get to mea.. meet nice people. Everyone has their own particular tastes, fetishes and requirements, but often there are particular shots of terminology and phrase placed in a profile that will turn it into instant road kill. The same applies to chatting to people online in general, via blogs, messenger programs and irc. So the question is, what turn of phrase annoys you, or makes you want to instantly switch off?

John's Top 5 Online Conversation Killers:

5. "Cincere" - Maybe I'm over the top with this one and am verging on grammar NAZI territory, but if a person claims to be sincere then I'd at least hope they care enough to know how to bloody spell the word. "Cence" of humour is another that is almost as bad.

4. "Princess" - When I read the word "princess" it makes me think of pink leeches, sucking the life out of people, draining them of their finances and mojo, and who would then do absolutely jack with the energy once siphoned. Sure it's stereotyping, but when you're dealing with a global pool of potentially interesting people to converse with it's best to minimise the risk factor of ever having to deal with a chick who owns a poodle.

3. "Omg lol lyke how r u? I5 this 4 real? lolz!!11" - I even have to explain this one?

2. "I'm the one your mother warned you about" - Oh really? God damn, are you following me? I swear I just saw your profile in the last page I clicked through, and two pages again before that. Not to mention that I saw you on the other site I'm a member of. What's worse is that your profile picture is always different, yet your personality remains the same! I can see why my mum warned me about you, you fucking stalker!!

1. "I like riding horses, sky diving, snow boarding, long romantic walks along the beach and rock climbing" - Yet you live in the city, rarely see the snow, are inland far away from the beach, have sky dived once with no intention of making it a hobby and the same applies to rock climbing. So, just who the fuck are you? I read profiles wanting to get to know a person. I don't want to know who you would LIKE to be! Tell me who you really are! I'd love to be He-Man, ranging around the plains of Eternia on a giant green cat that talks whilst fighting Skeletor, but I won't be putting that into my profile, at least not on the sites you frequent!

OK, so maybe there's a little emotion there in that post.


langster said...

I would like to think that #3 is fairly universal for most people over 17 1/2 but I have been proven wrong time and time again. Here are mine, more or less

1) I love to spoil the woman I am with. Um, either you don't have the means to spoil a woman or you spoil until they are hooked and then you stop. If what you say is true there is some materialistic floozie out there that would have already have snatched you up. Anyway, do you really want a gold digger? Self-esteem much?

2) Old fashioned and like to cuddle, treat a woman like a woman should be treated. Never met anyone that means this in any way other than, "I will smother you until you run like the wind and then I will proably stalk you for a bit just because".

3) lyeing, hikeing, anything with that extra e. Ohh, careing is the bestest.e.

4) (this is my favorite) I am tired of the lies/heartaches/cheating whaaawhaawhaaa Ok, you obviously should be removed from the dating pool until you learn to get the fuck over it. Who hasn't been hurt? Pack up your baggage just a touch neater before you return one wants to spend the first couple of months of a relationship fixing what someone else has already broken or paying for some other woman's sins. *shudder*

I don't hate men, really, I don't (much)

John said...

It would be great if there were a way in which to weed out all of the stalker/spoiler guys and have them fed to the princesses of the world. They would actually be happy together, in a sick sort semblance of the word, at least for a time.

With #1 I'd actually be quite concerned about someone wanting to either spoil or be by spoiled. It's like you start with something great, and then you heap sugar on top of it, in a manner that is simply not natural. Eventually nature takes its course and reverts to the status quo, where reality rules and things fall apart. I guess that's a big part of why the whole 'princess' scenario/persona bothers me.

4# Most definitely. I think women complain far less than guys who feel hard done by, but will often jump into dating before being ready, just as often as damaged guys might. Loneliness is almost always too strong a force to ignore.

MyrtleKBracegirdle said...

Langster, 100%. Special commendation for 2)... "I will smother you until you run like the wind and then I will proably stalk you for a bit just because" A+.

The Princess scenario/persona more so than bother me, gives me the shits. I prognosticate a woman of 30 behaving like a 4 year old.