Monday, 29 October 2007


Leadville, near Dunedoo in the Central West of NSW.

Uh oh spaghettio

I'm not a fan of daylight savings. It's a horrible case of time meddling and the sort of action best left to omnipotent beings, aliens and sun stealing super villains. Serving only one purpose, which is to mess with people's sleep, daylight slaving savings goes down worse when applied in conjunction with taxation stress, incredibly loud thunder and early mornings alarms.

Out of bed, showered and ready to for my appointment with my accountant. I put on my special "please don't fuck me against your oak table" outfit and headed off for my dreaded date down town. As I neared the office I could see the secretaries struggling to contain themselves and their bras as they ripped the door open and quickly sealed me in, ushering me forth into the bowels of their overlord's taxation dungeon.

For a whole blisteringly painful 15 minutes I dodged numerous poisoned tipped conversations, each laced with numerical, mind-numbing inanity. My accountant's smile and no fuss, can-do attitude did the best with what I had made available and I made it out alive without being partially digested or sold into sex slavery on the Kagoshima market. Neato.

It's a good start to the week, capping off an excellent weekend spent in Dunedoo, which is a couple of hours north of my present location.

Interesting Dunedoo fact:

- The town was founded in 1953 by Mario Lemieux, Pittsburgh Penguins hockey legend and noted arctic explorer.

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

Woo tax!

I finally got around to making an appointment with my accountant to lodge my tax return, two days out from the Oct 31 cut off. I am incredibly well organised. You can tell, right? I'm sure that woman loves seeing me. Once a year I rock up, hand her a stack of paper and then hide behind the desk knowing that I should have done better. Record keeping? I do that well, but with the help of my own mysterious filing system, which baffles even me. It's getting to the point where I'd almost submit to a few lashes across the back rather than to have to go through this every year.

On a similar note, my brother found his dog holding his girlfriend's incomplete tax return today, in a manner that would suggest that he is either trying to help complete it, or is perhaps only one step away from embezzling funds. I'd go with the latter. I mean, would you trust a dog who doesn't just eat flies, but catches them and pulls their wings off?

On that note, I have to go now. My cat (Bitey - yes, a Simpson's reference) is standing upright at my window, rattling the screen for attention. When I get out of my chair and peel back the curtain I know she will only turn away.


Monday, 22 October 2007

It's been a long week.

"For those who came in late.." It's been a long week. I'll attempt to gather in the events that have transpired since my last post, but it's currently low tide in regard to my current flow. I'm very tired.

Wednesday karaoke went quite well, like it usually does. A relaxed evening with no worries. When leaving the pub however there was a fight. Of course it turned out that it was the bloke I had a run-in with about a month prior. He was threatening the pub staff and arguing with a pregnant woman. Yeah, a real champion. Looking on and also involved in some capacity were the two guys who assaulted me on my Birthday, because Captain Wonderful is dating either the mother, or aunt of one of the younger twats. It does seem that shit magnets do indeed stick together.

The pub staff managed to handle the problems, turfing Captain Wonderful out of the pub and everything returned to normal. However, as we waited for a taxi for my mate Jill, Captain Wonderful again started up with his insane behaviour. Let's keep in mind that this bloke has had somewhere in the vicinity of 5 to 9 pub fights in the last month, and been thrown out of his lodgings as a result. On Wednesday night he was just as bad, only that he also chose to conduct a verbal assault (also shoving) on a pregnant woman before collapsing to the ground without any one touching him in a manner that would suggest what little brain he still had, had been spirited away. He dropped like a sack of spuds and as I looked on from across the street, I called an ambulance, only to see him a few minutes later get back to his feet and then leap up and hurl himself into the window of a shop, then bouncing off and onto the ground without even breaking the glass. I'm not sure if I'll be going out to karaoke again on a Wednesday.

Thursday was great. Pub Trivia time, and "Death to the Sand People of Tattooine" won! Go us! It's those quieter, more socially functional times that I enjoy most.

Friday-Sunday. Even better. I'm no longer single, and I'm pretty bloody happy. I'm sure the details would go down great here, but then - that's just not me.

Sunday evening. Dinner with Jardine, Jas, Marnee and Matty. I was tired after a long but enjoyable day, but dinner was worthwhile if even just to see Matty show us how he and a mate of his have races to see who can explode first (picture someone straining to crap with their fists clenched and you'll get the idea). Following dinner it was decided a spot of karaoke would be good. Sunday karaoke is fun, as barely anyone is ever there for it, in the only pub open in town on the night, so it's a great opportunity to try new songs without lots of people around to listen to you stuff up greatly. The tester for the evening - Morrissey and First of the Gang to Die. Great song, even if Morrissey is a twat.

Wednesday, 17 October 2007


I was at the top of town today, running a few errands and enjoying the sunshine. Warm with a slight breeze, it was Sunnyboy and chewy frozen kangaroo weather.

I enjoyed my walk, however I saw something quite nefarious going down when passing one of the local primary schools. I only looked for a few brief moments. I saw Rupert Murdoch walking down the steps of the school and loading boxes of school library books (that I believe he had stolen), into his 1974 Holden Torana.

Monday, 15 October 2007

I just couldn't help myself

Blogging can be quite addictive once you get into swing of things, and in particular if you're like me and have enough interests that trying to jam them all into the one blog won't work. So I've decided to start yet another. Whilst I'll continue to ramble and write about life in general on this blog, and post my photos and cartoons, I'll be moving any of my kitsch, 80's obsessed, pop culture driven humour, thoughts and rants to:

Sunday, 14 October 2007

Weekend games

Hell of a game. Leeds crushed St. Helen's in the European Super league grand final, and did it in fine style at a packed Old Trafford. It was one of the better UK grand finals I've seen, so it almost made up for the absolute rubbish served up by New Zealand this afternoon in their 100th Anniversary Test match against Australia.

What the hell is up with those guys? It's amazing how a team of professional footballers can turn into water and lose all composure and do it consistently like the New Zealand Kiwis do. No heart, too selfish and lacking in brains - they deserved the loss. Losing 58-0 is one hell of a way to celebrate 100 years since NZ played their first ever international match. I hope the Poms and French absolutely hammer them. Way to waste my afternoon, jerks!

Saturday, 13 October 2007

Wenty Country Club - Yee Har!

Not quite that kind of Country Club. There wasn't much happening in town Friday night, so on the road again - Jill, John, Jas and Jardine, to the Wentworth Falls Golf and Country Club. We had been invited by our mate Lisa, who runs the usual Wednesday night karaoke, to come check out another of her regular gigs. With some reservation, we ventured forth and had a look around.

As I suspected, it was mostly an older crowd, but nothing too alien. A little sedate but the more they drank the easier the shackles of age were thrown off. Plenty of crooner style music, and by the younger crowd there too, so I pitched in with My Way and rounded things out with YMCA as a duet with Jas. Lisa was kind enough to tell me across the room via the microphone to tell her if I saw any women I liked and she'd give me the lo-down on them. Haha, I'm sure the announcement had every can of mace in the building clutched and shaken.

A good venue and a friendly lot of regulars, I quite liked the place, even it was bloody cold over there. We also left a bit too late to venture in to Jill's favourite pub in her old stomping ground of Katoomba, a place called the Gearin Hotel, which I also consider to be one of the better pubs in the mountains and out through the tablelands and is incidentally owned by the actor Jack Thompson (maybe best remembered recently to international audiences as Uncle Owen in Star Wars).

In all it was a fun night out. Today on the other hand was quiet, slow and very peaceful. Too peaceful. What I wouldn't do for a spear and a few blokes in pith helmets to throw them at, Rourke's Drift style. Just anything. A little action. Still, falling asleep in front of the computer at midday is kinda like action.. right?!

Friday, 12 October 2007

Biggest let down

The Jenolan Caves were pretty cool, but I must admit - not having seen any weird albino cave dwelling proto-humans was quite a let down. I'm reluctant to consider the possibility that Hollywood has been lying to me, but if there are any genetic throwbacks living in the caves I certainly didn't see them. Perhaps the next time I return I will be better prepared, taking with me a team of intrepid spelunkers, scientists and crypto-zoologists and lots of alcohol. My preparation yesterday was all wrong. One does not go into a cave after a leisurely stroll around a picturesque lake, having consumed an overly expensive latte devoid of hazelnut.


Like my cone-collared friend in the accompanying image, tonight my team failed in our weekly pub trivia effort. Perhaps Gary Numan is a bad luck talisman, as we came third on the back of calling our team "Gary Numan versus the Dream Police." Of course I would refuse to believe that the Dream Police or anything to do with Cheap Trick could be the cause of the bad Juju.

We didn't play too poorly, but I wasn't exactly thrilled about my contribution during the film round, or any round really. Whilst it's not a matter to be concerned about, the questions that stumped me do at least give me something interesting to google and learn about during my down time.

On a brighter note, delayed birthday greetings continue to roll in. Thanks Sarah - considering you've been up to your elbows in woolly excitement and dip on your farm recently, you're forgiven.

Even brighter, I quite enjoyed today's road trip as well. Off again with Jardine, Jas and Jill, this time to the Jenolan Caves. First off - the road there is shithouse. Only the road to Nimbin compares. Hell of a view though.

I really had no idea what to expect in regard to the Jenolan Caves, but I didn't expect the setting to be a cross between Lord of the Rings and National Lampoon's European Vacation. The Swiss style buildings, rock towers screaming into the sky and drive-thru cave styled action all blended together to completely dismiss any previous notions I might have had. The caves were interesting but oddly enough I was drawn more to the blue pool. Heavy in minerals, crystal clear to a considerable depth and the colour usually only seen in volcanic springs and trapped in centuries old glaciers, I regret not having had my camera with me. If I go back I intend spending a lot of time getting all of the resources I need in order to do an oil painting of the pool with the rock spires and caves in the background.

Dinner at the Hampton Roadhouse and watching the lightning hurtling down into Lithgow in the distance were a fine way to wind down the trip. Now if only the following pub trivia could have gone off as smoothly! Ah, but there's always next week!

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Because one was just never enough.

I've started a second blog to cater for a particular niche interest I have, in Aboriginal literature, genealogy and history studies.

Black Books

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Tuesdays are dork-tastic

I may not watch much TV these days, but I probably recall more useless bits of trivia about long forgotten TV shows than most people. I retain memories of TV shows that my contemporaries once loved but have since relegated to the mists of time. Do you remember Metal Mickey? The Ghost and Mrs Muir? How about The Master, which starred Lee Van Cleef as a Ninja?

Should I admit any of this? Well, it's not like I'd really care to know a person who would look down upon me for having such a dork-tastic skill anyway. Can I call it a skill? Maybe it's more a trick of shameful proportions played upon a savagely tuned, sugar encrusted mind. Either way, it's fun, mostly harmless and helps blow away those hours one might otherwise waste on less enjoyable trivial pursuits.

So here it is. Each Tuesday I'm going to dig deep, peel back the Mr Sheen coated walnut that guards my memories and I'll wax lyrical about the TV shows you've either forgotten, never seen before or don't care to know about, but are going to read about anyway, simply because you're bored, can't sleep or are playing along nicely because you know me.

Rabbitohs 100 Years

In general I quite like the logo, and am looking forward to celebrating the 100th anniversary of my club, but note to the designer at Souths: Whilst not offensive, I do find the cliché of a Koori bloke standing on one leg with the other resting, to be somewhat irritating. Lift your game!

Anniversary article

Monday, 8 October 2007


How can anyone not love this?

Sunday, 7 October 2007

Saturday blargh

My birthday came and went and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I had a great time with my mates, and loved the banana cake Jas and Jill made for me. I also love the Japanese styled Zen garden they gave me. Very cool. The weird dinosaur in a snow globe that cries to be fed is quite a laugh and I'll also have fun with the new art supplies.

What wasn't cool however is when the clock ticked over past midnight and a new day came and upon leaving the local nightclub (only one and it was the only time I had been there), we were stopped by a couple of drunken idiots that were out looking for trouble. To cut a long story short, they assaulted a mate of mine (over his karaoke singing of all things) and then me after I told them to lay-off. When both were involved that drew my brother into matters as well.

My Saturday was mixed to say the least. I managed to fall sleep at about 6am, with my brother and Jasmine worried about the concussion that the Doctor we saw had warned about (from my being kicked in the back of the head whilst grappling with the first guy) and was up again at 8.30am. A few cups of tea and plenty of laughs with my mate Angie at 10.30am before we went for a drive, and then an hour+ at the local police station giving a statement and looking to press charges. Fun fun..

On the bright side I did laugh my arse off at the thermometer and K.Y tube Angie gave me for my birthday to make sure I was OK. Nice work smarty!

Friday, 5 October 2007


Before pub trivia last night I went for a road trip with some mates and my brother. I don't think that the destination was planned, but we ended up out past Bathurst and headed north, until we reached a small town by the name of Sofala. Sleepy and picturesque, Sofala is rather unique in that for a small Aussie town its streets are all narrow, almost giving it a crowded vibe. We stopped into the local pub, played some pool, had a beer, enjoyed ourselves and headed back to town, getting back in time for the usual round of Thursday night trivia.

Left to right: Jasmine, Sophie and Jardine (no I don't know what he's doing either), standing at the back of the pub at Sofala.

Jill, getting excited behind the wheel before we set off on our random trip.

Pub Trivia

Legend handing Matty a fake cheque for our team coming second at pub trivia last night, after losing on a tie-breaker in the final round to the "Bar Whores."

Unlike the other teams, we generally change our team name each week, and usually to something quite ridiculous. This week it was "Champions of the Leather Regions, People?" I'm sure Legend, who runs the trivia nights appreciates having to call such names out, and as a question, after all he is always smiling.

For the record, the tie breaker question was "how many Davis Cups in Tennis has Australia won?" The obvious answer is: Who cares? But the required answer was 28, with our guess being 21. I think most Souths fans might be able to tell why my guess was 21 (sad in-joke, don't ask).

Left to right: Marnee, Skye and Jasmine

Wednesday, 3 October 2007


Mountain bread (rye), diced capsicum, mixed Asian vegetables, fresh and quartered tomatoes and a token squirt of mayonnaise.

Do it. You know you want to.

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

Berfdae build-up

Two mates birthdays this week, and then mine. What is it about early October? I had an enjoyable meal tonight at the local club for the first of those birthdays, and tomorrow will be Karaoke to continue with that and into mine.

I'm not really thrilled about mine. Friday I turn 30. It's come so quickly and like a lot of people who have reached that milestone I wonder if I could have, or more realistically should have achieved more in the time I've been given, and no I don't mean regarding monetary gain. It's a downer, even if I am pretty happy with who I am, and where I'm slowly going. I think on Friday I'll do as a mate suggested regarding her own birthday and do something nice for my parents, as a thank you for creating me.

I usually spend my birthdays on the South Coast of NSW, getting pissed and eating meat with the other birthday boy and another mate (who this year might be a bit pre-occupied looking after his twin baby boys), but this year I'll give it a miss. Still, I'm sure they will have a great time.

Go West

After Monday was spent moving my brother's furniture, today was a chance to relax - to an extent. I tagged along on a road trip to Bathurst as my brother, his girl and a mate of ours all signed up for some work this weekend at the Bathurst 1000. The plan was originally to check out some shops (mostly checking second hand books) whilst they sorted their work and did their own browsing, and then to head home. Instead we saw a movie, with the choice of flick being Hairspray.

Personally I thought that Hairspray might be pretty good or at worst passable, but I have to admit that it hit the mark in every way with me. John Water's did a brilliant job in writing the original film, but it was a wise choice for the remake to have been based on the Broadway show rather than original 1988 film. As much as I love Waters imagination, his execution can also be a bit off-putting. So, without giving anything away, this movie is excellent an excellent way to spend a few bucks and gain a feel-good buzz for the rest of the day. There are no idiotic plot points with forced character anguish or emotional drama, and that in film today is a very rare thing - just like it always has been. Sometimes people just want to be happy. We might love a sad ending like Casablanca, but overkill is definitely the word when it comes to how Hollywood usually tries to manipulate people's emotions and wallets.

Great flick, wonderful cast and very catchy music. If you're not an uptight bastard then go see it. If you are then go get drunk and see it anyway.

Monday, 1 October 2007


Well, Melbourne Storm have won the Grand Final, defeating Manly Sea-Eagles in the process and taking the wind out of a mate's sails this evening. The score? I have no idea. Don't care. It's been a good day full of shifting my brother's furniture, rounded out nicely with a barbeque at said mate's house. I wasn't particularly fond of either team playing in the game, but for his sake I was sorry to see Manly lose, even if in general I quite dislike them. Anyway, the loss was soon forgotten and drowned out with a ready mix of beer and karaoke at the pub down the road. For the record, I sang 500 Miles (by the Proclaimers) and then headed home, more than likely to loud applause in the false reality in which I reside.

If this post is somewhat disjointed then I shall have to ask you to leave and come back when beer hasn't had a slight influence upon my already meagre skills as a writer.