Umbrellas with vibrator handles - Good for when it's wet both indoors and out, and handy for shaking the rain off!
Edible underwear with built in laxatives - Because you need to be taught a lesson. Eating underwear is stupid!!
Renewable marriage licenses - Most people aren't mature enough for lifetime licenses any more. If they ever were.
1-hole golf courses - because 18 holes worth of destroyed wilderness and animal habitat is ridiculous. Mark Twain was right.
Inflatable half-humpback whales - Sold only in Japan.
Australian Liberal Party Showbags - A child's introduction, complete with bile flavoured lip balm , blank history book with pen, 24k gold bobble head Jesus, and 1000 ft of red tape.
Now GO - spring forth and make these a reality!!